About six month ago, C and I found out that our next post was going to be Brazil, more specifically Brasilia. Although that was a bit of a surprise to us as we both had our heart set on Tokyo, however what really threw the spanner in the works, was that instead of moving in the summer of 2014 which was the original plan, they wanted us there this year. I felt robbed! Robbed of my 1.5 years left in Mexico. My 1.5 years left of exploring this wonderful country. My 1.5 years left of working and earning money. Our 1.5 years left with the great friends we have made here. Nevertheless this is the nature of the beast, and it is a lifestyle that both C and I got involved in with our eyes wide open.
Today our entire possessions are all neatly boxed up and bound for Brazil. Our flat empty. I woke up this morning feeling ill, in fact I have woken up every morning for the last 3 weeks with this sense of dread – the count down has begun. It is a feeling that I associate with going back to boarding school after a great holiday. A stone in the pit of my stomach. Lying under my duvet wishing I could stop time and just be like this forever – but you can’t stop time. In fact what ever your circumstances are, what ever type of lifestyle you choose you can never stop time and you can never stop change.
In reality it is change that we fear, which is funny because change is the only constant factor of our lives. Over the last few weeks, I have had numerous conversations with myself – patiently explaining to me, how change is a positive and the quicker I learn to embrace it, the fuller my life will be. I just wish my heart would listen to my logical self!
However, more often than not, the things we dread never turn out to be as terrible as what we imagined them to be. Once my holidays were over, and I tearfully said goodbye to my parents at the airport and I found myself sitting on that flight back to Sweden, back to school a funny thing happened, I started to get excited. I started looking forward to seeing all my school friends, I started to get excited about all the projects I was going to get stuck into and what the future term held for me. This is exactly how I feel now.
I am sitting in our hotel room which is going to be home for us and the kitties for the next 2 weeks, and I am starting to get excited about our next adventure. The apartment is packed up, all our commitments have been met – now it is time to enjoy my last couple of weeks in Mexico to the fullest, and prepare myself for the next big move!